I saw this topic on a friends blog so I decided to answer it for myself..

If I was a fly on the wall this is what I would say about myself..

1. I love my children with my whole heart.

2. I always put myself last when at times I need to be put first.

3. I’m not organized.

4. I’m too hard on myself.

5. I always try to find the good in people.

6. I always land on my feet no matter the obstacle.

7. I love hard.

8. I am shy.

9. I am a sweet heart until you cross me.

10. I am a true friend and will always be.

11. I am bad with managing money.

12. I will give my last and not let it be known.

13. I am very emotional.

14. I love food.

15. At times I think too much.

16. I miss out on a lot because I don’t say how I feel at times.

17. I make the happiness of others a priority too much.

18. I am very independent.

19. I love affection.

20. I have a warm heart…

Why do people lie?

Why do people feel it necessary to do hurtful things?

Why can the world be so cold at times?

Why is true love so hard to get in return?

Why can’t money buy happiness?

Why are people so heartless?

Why do people settle?

Why have I gone unnoticed?

Why must all good things come to an end in some type of way?

Why am I even asking these questions?

Today was honestly a laid back day. I spent the whole day with my children. We played around the house most of the early part if the day. Then took a short trip out to the grocery store followed by Kmart not sure why I went there but somehow we managed to have fun playing around in the store. I came home and made dinner now that is something I don’t do very often. I made attempts to clean the house and tried to get the kids to help but not much cleaning was done. Then to my surprise my sweet thang popped up which truly made my day complete.. I feel bad that most of the food I made were items she don’t eat. (I feel bad about that) but I was happy to see her. However I didn’t want her to leave but I knew she was tired. Maybe I can get more surprises like that ….. Thanks to my daughter for setting that up. I think it’s cute that they have a liking for her especially since I was kind of hesitant about them meeting her. Lol they talk about her just as much as I think about her (all the time).

I think a feel major depressed mode coming upon me. I’m trying hard to fight it but I can’t. I’m not really really sure what is causing it. I am trying not to stress over things that are beyond my control. I don’t really want to interact with most people that I am normally around. Normally I start to over eat when I feel this way but this time I don’t really want food at times. I rather lay in bed and stare around or drive with no set destination most times. I tried music but most times it makes my thoughts more sad than before. I find myself crying for no reason. I know what some of the things that are making my heart heavy but I am still scratching my head about the rest. It’s becoming harder at times to smile. My emotions are so mixed up that I confuse myself. I have prayed about it for a while. I just don’t feel strong anymore I’m tired. I don’t even really care to here it will be ok because if so then when? My kids and a few others always seem to bring me joy but deep down I wonder what they really think of me is it really all positive?? I really don’t have too many to turn to truth is sometimes I wish I did.

I love the excitement I get inside when my phone goes off and its a text, pic or call from you.

I love the thoughts that run thru my mind endlessly all day every day.

I love the way your body feels up against mine.

I love the soothing sound of your voice in my ear.

I love your smile

I love way it feels to be held close by you.

I love kissing you.

I love that you aren’t judgmental.

I love sitting on the phone talking to you for hours at a time.

I love how the small things mean a lot to you.

I love that family means so much to you.

I love that you are humble.

I love how your always on my mind.

I love your honesty.

I love that my children love you.

I love your affection.

I love that you are a beautiful person inside and out.

I love that you are so spoiled.

I love that you are supportive

I love your cookies… Lol

I love everything about you……

Why do the good ones always have to finish last?

When is last?

If you know how bad it feels to be hurt why would you hurt someone?

If you into a person why try to turn them away?

If you tired of being hurt why is it so hard to accept someone that can bring happiness?

When is enough really enough?

I know you been hurt in the past but guess what I didnt do it. I know you have had bad days at work because you argued all night. And I know sometimes just the thought of all the hurt and pain has made you cry and become so angry. But guess what I didnt do it. But I am willing to be your friend to listen and maybe even cry with you. I know how it feels to be hurt and to have to go on with your day like nothings wrong. I know how it is to try to hold back tears or emotions because you not in the right place to break down. But sometimes you just have to wear your emotions on your sleeve because its not healthy to hold all that inside. But just remember dont punish the ones who now have your best intrest at heart and want to see you smile. You are a beautiful person inside and out and I think it sucks what you went thru but what you going thru right now dont have to be bad. Stop turning around to see her behind you. Look forward and see me in front of you……A friend who truly care about you and hopes that you are completely happy one day real soon…..