A quick reflection...

It almost seems like this year is starting off just like 2012 did. On January 2, 2013 I received almost the same phone call I did on January 2, 2012. In 2012 my mom called me to tell me she had cancer. From that very moment my life has never been the same. I made it a point to put almost my entire life on hold to be there for her every need. From various ER visit, hospital stays, chemo, transfusions, radiation, surgeries, baths, massages, feedings, tears,bills, phone calls you name it I did it or assisted with it. It was hard to try to be strong in front of my mom my children and other family members but I managed. During one of my mothers first hospital stays I ran into a buddy of mine at Washington Hospital Center and found out that her mother was also in the hospital with Cancer also. And found out on a social network that she lost her mom during the holidays. I am so thankful that my mother is still alive and has got better and almost completely back to her normal self. Her illness really made our relationship stronger. It saddens me that the same day last year she called this year to tell me that the cancer may have came back in a different area. It was so hard to be strong during the phone call because I couldn’t understand why she has to even prepare to possibly deal with this again. After ending our phone call I became so upset wondering why God would do this to me…. Driving in tears and silence God began to talk to me and remind me that its not about me and that he gave me the easy task of being a support system for my mom and that he gave my mother the test because he knew she was strong enough in spite the fact that we “family” didn’t think so. I know God never places more on us than we can bare, but I don’t think I can handle this road again.

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