I think a feel major depressed mode coming upon me. I’m trying hard to fight it but I can’t. I’m not really really sure what is causing it. I am trying not to stress over things that are beyond my control. I don’t really want to interact with most people that I am normally around. Normally I start to over eat when I feel this way but this time I don’t really want food at times. I rather lay in bed and stare around or drive with no set destination most times. I tried music but most times it makes my thoughts more sad than before. I find myself crying for no reason. I know what some of the things that are making my heart heavy but I am still scratching my head about the rest. It’s becoming harder at times to smile. My emotions are so mixed up that I confuse myself. I have prayed about it for a while. I just don’t feel strong anymore I’m tired. I don’t even really care to here it will be ok because if so then when? My kids and a few others always seem to bring me joy but deep down I wonder what they really think of me is it really all positive?? I really don’t have too many to turn to truth is sometimes I wish I did.

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